Zhu Di never liked his crown prince. He only chose him because he liked the grandson. Then the son died shortly after his father, and the grandson took over. During his short reign, the son did an important thing. He pressed the stop button on all of Zhu Di’s money-burning projects. The grandson also did an important thing. He did not press resume. Under their rule, the Ming empire was finally able to recover.
Then little boy Zhu Qizhen took over as emperor. When the Oirats attacked, he decided to personally lead the army to meet them. He fought and lost. While he was running away, he decided to take a detour to his hometown. When the army was halfway there, he changed his mind again. The Oirats caught up and crushed them. When Zhu Qizhen woke up, he was already captured. The Oirats brought him to the border and pushed him forward. He shouted, open the door! I’m the emperor! The guards did not dare to open it.
Now the Ming needed an interim emperor. Or iEmperor. They chose Zhu Qizhen’s brother. What do you do as the Oirat commander? You kill Zhu Qizhen, you get nothing. You keep him alive, you also get nothing. So they sent him back.
Of course the iEmperor did not want to give up his throne, so he imprisoned Zhu Qizhen. Seven years later, when the iEmperor was sick, someone launched a coup and released Zhu Qizhen. They went to the palace. He shouted, open the door! I’m the emperor! The door opened. Zhu Qizhen demoted his brother and restored his own title.
Now imagine you’re Zhu Qizhen’s crown prince. I just can’t wait to be emperor. Wait, my uncle became the emperor? Never mind then. Wait, my father is back. Wait, he’s imprisoned. Wait, he’s emperor again. It must have been very exhausting. All the servants avoided him. Only one maid remained by his side. When he was restored as crown prince at the age of 13, he requested to marry the 30-year-old maid. He eventually relented and made some random noblewoman the empress instead. He still made the maid his concubine.
The emperor happened to sleep with a concubine, who happened to have a son. But the concubine was of low status and lost the power struggle. So the little boy grew up in a deserted shelter somewhere in the palace. He only got his birth certificate when he was five. It is a miracle that he grew up to be a normal person. And normal person is considered above average among Ming emperors.
The next emperor was Zhu Houzhao. AKA Zhu Shou. AKA the Duke of National Defense, Grand Supervisor of Military Affairs, General of Mighty Martial Prowess, and Commander-in-Chief of All Forces. He thought being the emperor was boring, so he awarded himself that title. It’s like Obama awarding Obama a medal, but real. He thought living in the palace was boring, so he built the Leopard Room. There were no leopards (okay, maybe one or two) but there were beautiful women. And beautiful men.
He fought a war against a Mongolian prince and killed one person. We don’t know the scale of the war. We only know there was at least one casualty.
One time, a prince started a rebellion, and it was put down by a minister. Zhu Houzhao threw a tantrum. Why did you beat him? Release him now! Let me beat him myself! The minister had to write up a story giving the emperor all the credit. Then Zhu Houzhao let it go. But he still staged a ceremony in the palace. He released the prince from the prison cart, then captured him and tied him up again, while the crowd cheered.
The next emperor was a Taoist priest cosplayer. He was obsessed with creating immortality pills. He starved the palace maids and collected their period blood as an ingredient. The maids couldn’t take it and tried to kill him. This was the only time in Chinese history that palace maids attempted to murder an emperor. Unfortunately, they failed. Fortunately, he took the pills and died.