Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
One of the first things you learn about living with someone after a death is that even the most basic interactions become minefields. Asa’s friend Emiri sends her a LINE message. Just a normal “how are you?” But how do you reply to that? Is it sympathy? Is it just a greeting? What words won’t accidentally make things worse?
Emiri thought about it before she sent it. Asa thought about it before she replied. Two 15-year-olds carefully choosing their words, terrified of hurting each other.
Asa eventually blames Emiri for telling everyone at school about her parents. The graduation ceremony turns into hell because the whole school knows she’s the dead-parents girl. Everyone’s being too nice. Everyone’s pitying her. She tells Emiri she hates her.
She doesn’t mean it. She calls Emiri back later, shaking, apologizing. Because the truth is, Emiri is the only person who can listen to Asa’s grief. Makio is the road sign in the desert, the person showing her a direction. But Emiri is the person she can let it all out to. You need both.
One day, Emiri comes to visit Asa. Makio stays in her room working. When Emiri leaves, Asa is asleep on the couch. Makio takes a look, then goes back to work. Asa wakes up alone, sees Emiri’s goodbye messages on LINE, and eats dinner by herself. After the meal, she starts sobbing.
Makio doesn’t comfort her. She says, “I can’t understand your loneliness, just like you can’t understand my claustrophobia. So let’s each take a step back.”
Makio accepts Asa’s loneliness but doesn’t pretend to understand it. After Asa cries herself to sleep, Makio calls Kasamachi to ask him what loneliness feels like.
