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Asa needs to write lyrics for a school concert. Makio’s advice is “write with the intent to kill”. Asa hears this and it might as well be a foreign language.
The show cuts between three different conversations across November and December. Makio with a fellow writer named Juno, Emiri discussing science vs arts tracks, Kasamachi cheering Makio up during a slump. In all of them, Asa can’t follow. Everyone around her is talking about what they want to become, who they want to be. Asa has no answer.
Makio diagnoses the problem. Asa doesn’t have enough vocabulary. She doesn’t have enough life experience to put words to her own feelings. She doesn’t know what she wants because she doesn’t have the language to describe it yet.
Asa goes to the school counselor. The counselor tells her she can say whatever she wants to say. But Asa doesn’t know what she wants to say. How do you talk when you don’t have the words?
Everyone’s got a jubaku (呪縛, “curse”, it’s hard to translate).
Emiri quietly chose the science track. She has a girlfriend now, Shouko, from cram school. While they’re together, Emiri ignores Asa’s messages. When Shouko asks about it, Emiri confesses that when she first heard about Asa’s parents dying, her first thought was “does this mean I can’t cut ties with her anymore?” She didn’t mean it maliciously. But the thought was there. Their friendship is a kind of jubaku. Unbreakable, but not always wanted.
Makio assumed her responsibility for Asa would end when Asa turns 18. Juno disagrees. It’s like a parent. You don’t just stop. It’s a permanent contract. Another jubaku.
And Asa’s jubaku is her father. He’s the one who taught her not to stand out. When her friends invite her to try out for the school concert, she says no. Because dad said don’t stand out. He’s dead, and he’s still making her decisions for her.
Meanwhile Emiri and Asa are drifting apart. Emiri’s at the beach, her own private world with Shouko. Asa’s still in the desert.
Asa’s been keeping a diary of all the fancy words Makio drops in conversation. They’re all insults. She’s learning vocabulary by cataloguing the ways Makio roasts people.
Makio can’t dress herself for a book signing but can stand on stage in front of a crowd no problem. Asa watches this and wonders. If Makio, an antisocial recluse, can be in the spotlight, what’s stopping her?
Asa asks Makio if wanting to be in the spotlight is a bad thing. Makio tells her, if anyone complains, just kill them.
Being lenient with yourself and strict with others is a universal human flaw. Her dead mother had it. She has it too. But maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.
